Tuesday saw the release of Alanis Morisssette‘s seventh album Havoc and Bright Lights, and, having been a long-time fan of her music, I clearly had it on pre-order. Having gotten married and given birth to her first child since her last release, Alanis reveals her nurturing, maternal side with a track list of 12 songs that – to me – sound reminiscent of adult contemporary of the 90’s. It’s a clear contrast from the “spiteful female singer” she was typecast as during her “Jagged Little Pill era,” but she’s no stranger to embracing and expressing all of who she is, as should be her most die-hard fans. Sitting listening to it yesterday, I was amazed at how coincidentally relevant some of the songs seemed to my current situation. One in particular, Havoc, spoke directly to some of the inner feelings I’ve been experiencing about my transition to my new position.
I am beaten by my impulsiveness
By this uncanny foreshadowing of regret
Cause I’m repulsed by restriction – at least that’s my excuse
A part of me feels like by accepting the directorship in Iowa, I’m wreaking havoc on my life as I know it – but it’s havoc that I, in no way, regret. I’m ready to accept the consequences of – what almost feels as impulsive – actions – consequences that include broadening my skill set as an information professional, encountering challenges that will only serve to strengthen my abilities, and embracing opportunities for leadership and transformation. The havoc – and not necessarily negative havoc – I feel is also being brought upon my soon-to-be-former workplace. I had my exit interview with the assistant director this afternoon, and she told me that I’m leaving quite a big hole they’ll have to fill. Teaching computer classes, developing and printing reader’s advisory handouts, managing the Book Club in a Bag service, helping plan the staff in-service day, organizing the staff holiday breakfast – on top of all the normal tasks of a Reference Librarian – all of these responsibilities I’m having to pass on to others. Though I secretly worry about how things will go, I’m happy that I’m providing other people with the opportunity to develop their skills with these things.
I’m slipping grip
I’m up to my tricks off my wagon
I have no defense
I’m wreaking havoc –
Wreaking havoc and consequence
Just as Alanis has embraced her new roles as a wife and mother, I’m convincing myself that, despite the havoc that’s being wrought, I too can accept and embrace the changes that are coming in my own life. I’m excited about my new job, I’m excited about my move to Iowa, and I’m excited to continue sharing my experiences and musings with you…not as a Reference Librarian, but as a Library Director.